Weird People Are Only Funny On TV

I took a trip to our local YMCA today. The missus wants us to sign up for a family membership there which means that I need to check it out. I know, it's a silly commitment disorder of mine.

There are a number of things one needs to check out when choosing a gym: location, safety, accessibility, parking, equipment, facilities, quality, cleanliness, staff and other members.

I parked outside and barged in with what I thought was a very commanding look and decisive mind. I walked up to the reception where two male staffers were engaged in what look and sounded like a very casual conversation. They acknowledged my excistence by leaning forward and I could see a certain scepticism starting to shape in their eyes.

My first mistake was that I hadn't really practiced the intended conversation except for some losely tied thoughts in my mind earlier this morning. I focused my attention the one who looked like the smarter guy and blurted out: "I'd like to get a tour of your gym. My wife wants to become a member but I'd like to check it out first."

Hmm, I didn't really explain why I wanted to check it out. I think it came out the way teenage parent's check out the really dodgy location of their kids first high school dance.

The staff member tried to humor me by asking if we had kids. I told him no and added: "I don't think a gym is an appropriate place for kids" as well as "We would prefer a more relax fitness club with no kids". I think that was mistake number two. It really surprised me how back-to-back my mistakes seemed to just happen. Like an automatic gun going besurk.

Well, the tour was executed in record time, I think. We went through the whole place which includes gym, squash hall, tennis courts, basketball courts and fitness studio in less than 60 seconds. The only things I saw was fat people and kids. Loud, roudy kids. Big fat sweaty people.

Before I knew it I was outside and the staff member was gone with a snappy "Bye, bye now...!". I got the sense that he didn't want to encourage me to apply.

See - I think a fitness club should be solely for adults, be relatively quite and focus on relaxation and mental comfort. Mind over matters so to speak. I don't need to hear people breath heavily down my throat to feel that I'm working out. I just don't!

Then I thought, if this would have been on TV it would have been hilarious. But in real life I think I just came over as very, very weird. No worries - it happens every day.